


Know

by greekgrad12



Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan
Genre: (but yes), Did I cry while writing this?, I wrote this in like twenty mins pls excuse the grammar mistakes, Sad Annabeth, clarisse x silena, mentions of not eating and depression, percabeth, supportive clarisse, that's a secret i'll never tell, tlh/son content you didn't ask for, trigger warning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-08
Updated: 2020-09-08
Packaged: 2021-03-06 17:08:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,232
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26362420
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/greekgrad12/pseuds/greekgrad12
Summary: i really don't know where i was going with this but enjoy lol
Comments: 2
Kudos: 17





	Know

**Author's Note:**

> i really don't know where i was going with this but enjoy lol

It had been four months, five days, and twelve hours since Percy Jackson disappeared. Four months, five days, and twelve hours since he kissed her goodnight and went off to his cabin. She was supposed to see him the next day. They had planned to eat breakfast together and then go to the stables to hang out with Blackjack. It was meant to be normal day, and yet, it ended up being the beginning of Annabeth’s worst nightmare. She thought he’d be back by now. She thought she would have been able to find him at this point. 

_One week,_ she would catch herself thinking, _He was able to find me in barely one week after Atlas captured me. Why can’t I find him?_

The last four months have been hard, but Annabeth had recently fallen into a new kind of despair. Something more than an ache, more than a sinking feeling in her chest. The feeling made her physically ill. Over half of the time, she wanted to scream, and her siblings encouraged it. They tried to convince her that it could help, but she was too numb to ever put in the effort. 

The past week had been her worst one yet. Annabeth barely left bed, let alone the Athena cabin. She spent every day staring at Daedalus’ computer looking through missing people’s reports, searching for strange happenings around the world, and trying to come up with new search plans. She hadn't eaten in days and it was beginning to be noticeable. 

Her brothers and sisters tried to reason with her, but she wouldn't budge. Piper tried to comfort her, but Annabeth didn't want pity. The Stoll’s stopped by and tried to make her laugh, but she barely breathed out a chuckle. Even Will Solace made an appearance and tried to convince her that she needed to be taking better care of herself.

“Percy wouldn't want to see you like this,” he’d said. 

But how would he know what Percy would want? _She_ was his girlfriend. _She_ was his best friend. She was the one who felt like she was dying every morning when she woke up and realized that this wasn’t all a big nightmare. Annabeth was the one who’d lost someone she loved, _again_ , and couldn't do anything about it, _again_. 

She didn't even have Grover to lean on. If she were to let anyone in right now, it would be either him or Thalia, but they were both off leading the satyrs and hunters in a search party. At least they were doing something. Chiron hadn't let her leave the camp in who knows how long. Apparently, she was too big of a risk in her present state. Annabeth thought that was bullshit. 

Somehow, the girl had managed to feel more weak, useless, and alone then she ever had before, and yet, at the same time, she felt nothing. 

A knock on her cabin door pulled Annabeth from her computer screen. She assumed it would be one of her siblings trying to coax her into coming to dinner again, but she was surprised to see none other than Clarisse la Rue leaning against the door of her cabin, hands behind her back. 

“What are you doing here?” Annabeth’s voice came out croaky. She hadn't spoken all day. 

“Could ask you the same thing,” Clarisse replied as she walked further into the room towards where Annabeth sat on her bunk, “It’s dinner time, princess.” 

Annabeth rolled her eyes at the big girl looking down at her, “I’m not hungry. And I’m busy.” 

Clarisse scoffed, “Yeah, and I don't buy it. You missed breakfast and lunch today, and dinner last night. And the night before, and the night before that.” 

“Like I said, I’ve been busy.” 

“Annabeth,” The end of the bed dipped as Clarisse took a seat. The blonde didn’t want to look up from the laptop, but there was something strange in Clarisse’s voice. She still sounded annoyed, but it was almost comforting, gentle even. 

When she looked at Clarisse, she was met with an expression she’d never really seen on the girl’s face before. It could almost be described as a mix between an aggressive _don't bullshit me_ and a gentle _I know_. Annabeth hated it. 

_I know._

_I know_ this is hard for you. _I know_ this hurts. _I know_ things will turn out okay _._

For some reason, everyone assumed that they knew what Annabeth was going through. That they knew what she was feeling. But how could they possible understand what she was feeling when she couldn't put it into words herself? Annabeth was no stranger to loss, but this? This was different. She’d always been a tough girl. She’s always been the one who was able to hold herself together and put on a brave face for the sake of doing what’s important. But _this_? Loosing _Percy_? Her Seaweed Brain? 

They had been through so much together and so far they’d survived. _Together_. And now she's facing all of this alone. Annabeth isn't some damsel in distress. She survived without Percy before, so she wasn't sure why she suddenly feels like she can't breathe without him. 

She didn't want to be reminded of those stupid words ever again, “Don't.” 

Annabeth was surprised that Clarisse even heard her. The word came out in a harsh whisper and the waver in her voice didn't help.

Rather than give her the typical pity look, Clarisse just sighed and brought her hands out from behind her back. In her right hand, she was holding a water bottle, in the left, a piece of pizza wrapped in a napkin, extra olives. Annabeth just stared at it.

“Who sent you?”

“Believe it or not, I come by my own free will,” Clarisse placed the food and drink down in front of Daedalus’s computer, “You’ve been ignoring everyone. I think Malcolm was about to send out an Iris Mesage to Thalia and have her bring the hunters back so she could try her hand at talking to you. Figured I’d give it a go before we resort to that.”

“Why do you care if the hunters come here?”

Clarisse got quiet and looked down at the food she’d brought in. There was a look on her face, it almost as if she was contemplating what to say. It took a moment before she finally let out a sigh and spoke up, “Those hunters jump back really quickly. They were back to the hunt in no time after the Titan War. And it’s tradition to have a game of Capture the Flag every time they visit. We haven’t played since before, well, _everything-“_

“And you don’t want to loose to them again,” Annabeth scoffed. Of course Clarisse would have her own agenda in mind right now. The blonde had half a mind to throw the pizza into her face and-

“No,” Despite Annabeth’s rude tone, Clarisse remained calm, “I just don’t want to fight. Not for a little while longer at least.”

Annabeth wasn’t sure how to react to the confession. She’d never heard an Ares kid say they _didn't_ want to fight. Especially Clarisse. The other girl must have sensed Annabeth’s confusion, or read it right off of her face, because she explained further, “The um... the last time I was in an actual fight was right after Silena... you know.” 

This time it was Clarisse who was avoiding eye contact. Of course Annabeth knew, she was right there when it happened. She witnessed first hand as Clarisse’s tough walls crumbled at the sight of Silena’s death. No camper was excited about training after the war was over. A majority of the summer had been spent as if they were kids at a normal summer camp and not a bunch of demigods who had just fought in a giant war where half of their friends had died. For a moment, _just moment,_ they were normal. 

But training would have to start again eventually. Wars come and go, but monsters will always return. However, no one was eager to jump back into making a game out of war when they had just barley survived a real one. 

“Yeah...” _I know._

Annabeth stopped before those cursed words could slipped through her lips. She and Silena were very close friends. She missed her all the time. She would be reminded of her when she walked past the Aphrodite cabin, or when she went to see Backjack, or, even worse, when she hung out with Piper. Annabeth loved and missed Silena so much, but she didn't _know_ what Clarisse was going through. 

When Chris came back to camp, Clarisse and Silena became closer than ever. The daughter of Ares found someone she could confide in and trust. A person who she could let her walls down with, but it was more than that. At least, that’s what Annabeth was starting to believe. 

Looking back at the days after the war, Annabeth now realized how familiar this all must be for Clarisse, because she was the exact same way. Well, maybe not the _exact_ same. The daughter of Ares didn't spend her time searching news reports or making up search plans, but she retreated in her own way. It wasn't until Chris intervened that she started to get back to her old self. 

“Clarisse,” Annabeth asked, gently, “How did- I mean, with Silena- you-” 

Clarisse snickered, but it wasn't harsh in anyway, “I think this is the first time I’ve heard an Athena kid sound so unsure. Just ask.”

“How did it feel?” the blonde was straining not to let tears fall from her eyes, “When she- when you lost her?” 

“It felt like...” Clarisse bit her tongue and leaned her head back, as if she were trying to hold something back too, “It felt like I’d just lost what made me whole.” 

“Why?” the question came out softer than she’d intended. 

Then, for maybe the first time in her life, Annabeth saw a soft smile appear on Clarisse’s face, “Because I loved her. Just like you love Percy, just like he loves you.” 

_Love._

Annabeth didn’t know when she stopped trying to hold back her tears, but by the time she realized her cheeks were wet, it was too late to do anything about it. 

“I don’t know how you feel, but I know what you’re going through. Though, hopefully, not completely. Jackson is still out there, I know because that headache he always causes me to have is still here,” Annabeth laughed for the first time in months, “Look, I do intend to help you find him, and I will hit him over the head for leaving, whatever the reason, I don't really care. But you have to start taking care of yourself again, Annabeth. What you're doing, it’s dangerous and stupid. Believe me, I know. And we don’t call you _Wise Girl_ because you're stupid _._ ” 

Then, Annabeth did something she never thought she’d ever do. She shut her computer then reached out and gave Clarisse la Rue a hug. Just as Annabeth was sure she was about to get body slammed, the other girl hugged her back. 

“No offense or anything,” Annabeth said, pulling away from the girl and wiping tears off of her face, “but this all seems very _un-Clarisse_ of you.” 

The girl chuckled at that, “Silena taught me to open up about my feelings. I’m beginning to realize that I wouldn't be honoring her if I decided to backtrack into my old secluded ways just because she’s gone. However, that being said, if anyone asks, I came in here, yelled some sense into you, and you don't know about my mushy side.” 

A small smile appeared on Annabeth’s face, “Deal.” 

“Good,” Clarisse said, leaning back onto the bed post, “Now, I'm not leaving until you drink your water and eat your pizza. After this, you're going to the bonfire and having one night off, and if you argue I will go all Ares on you. We have every resource available out there looking for Percy. I know it’s your specialty and all, but you shouldn't be stressing yourself over things you can't control. He’ll come back to you, he loves you too much to stay away much longer.” 

After that, there wasn't much more convincing to be done. Annabeth ate her food and drank her drink while having a civil conversation with Clarisse. She’d gone back to talking and teasing like the Clarisse Annabeth knew, but now she was someone else. The last thing the blonde girl ever imagined was to have Clarisse la Rue, daughter of Ares, help her sort out her feelings, but now she knew. 

Annabeth knew why it hurt so much that Percy was gone. She knew why no one was able to comfort her, not in the way that he did, and she knew why losing him hurt so much more than anyone else. She knew why she had this dark feeling surrounding her, even still now, because one heart-to-heart over a piece of pizza won’t just take that away. But she knew it was possible. Clarisse was proof. Annabeth can come back from this and find Percy. She knew she could. She _knows_ she can. 

Because now she's knows why it’s so important. 

It’s because it’s Percy. 

And it’s because she loves him. 

**Author's Note:**

> writing about tlh/son era annabeth makes me sad :( 
> 
> i suck at ending so i'm sorry. i feel like if my brain wasn't so chaotic this would have come out a LOT better lol


End file.
